I’m fasting from poker for 40 days. I’m trying to spend more time with God, family and ministry. I do this every year.
It just so happens that one of my buddies is at the final table of a WPT event as I’m typing this.
I’m jealous. What? I love the guy. He is a great friend. Yet, I’m sitting here saying, why not me. I’m every bit as good of a player as him.
The biggest question I’m asking is, “Why am I jealous? Does God love him more than me?” I don’t like sitting on the bench. I want in the game. I’m competitive. Instead, I'm sitting home.
I admit it. I’m ashamed. Ninety percent of me is cheering for him to win. But 10% wants him to lose. Why?
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Now they are down to the top eight. He is in last place. I feel bad about these emotions. I called a friend to ask his advice. He says he feels the same way about me. He is jealous of me. “Why does God bless someone that is already has it all financially”, he says. We knocked this back and forth for a while as we watched his progress on the WPT site. I guess we all go through these emotions.
Love is patient, love is kind, loves does not envy. Love is not jealous.
There it is. I’m in a battle of flesh against spirit. The flesh wants to be more rich and famous than my buddy. The spirit tells me to love him as much as I love myself.
The truth is that God loves both of us the same. He isn’t favoring my friend more than me. Heck I was on two TV shows yesterday and they made me look like a genius.
Allen Carter is in 6th place in chip right now. Eight players remain. Six players go to the final televised table tomorrow. I’m pulling for him 100%. I choose to love over my flesh. Lesson learned.
Go get’em Allen.